"Ducky Mo Ducky Momo, he's your very best friend!"
Perry stood up on his hind legs and began quickly scratching the television screen with his front paws.
"Stop it!" Candace said. "Phineas and FERRRBBB
Perry, STOP IT!"
Perry ignored her. He would scratch until he got what he wanted.
"Perry, I can't see the screen!"
Perry continued to scratch. Candace grabbed him from behind. Perry snorted in frustration.
"What's WRONG with him?" Candace demanded, carrying Perry into Phineas and Ferb's room. Perry desperately struggled to break free of her grip.
"I think he wants you to let him down." Phineas said.
"He was scratching the TV!" Candace said, setting Perry down on the floor.
Perry sped away from her as fast as he could go, zooming down the stairs and into the living room, where Lawrence was now standing, watching the television thoughtfully.
Perry began running in circles around Lawrence, who didn't notice him.
"Hey, Perry!" Phineas said as he picked Perry up. "Calm down."
Perry beamed at him, breathing hard.
"If he scratches the TV, that means he wants you to open the sliding door so he can go outside." Phineas explained to Candace.
"Why doesn't he just scratch the sliding door?" Candace asked.
"You wouldn't pay any attention to that." Phineas said.
"I guess you have a point." Candace said.
Phineas opened the sliding glass door and tossed Perry outside. Perry happily ambled into the middle of the yard and began to dig a hole.
Once his hole was big enough, he got into it, curled up, and closed his eyes.
The breeze that brushed over him was wonderful, and the sun was warm.
He felt incredibly content.
"Come on, Perry, you can beat him."
Perry was playing Kyle the kangaroo in a game of chess. He sat staring at the board, pondering his next move.
Devon the dog wasn't helping him think.
"Maybe move the black piece. The one that looks like a castley thing. Oh no wait, move the horse. How many spaces does that move again? If it moves like six forward, you've got him
"Shush!" Perry snapped.
"Just trying to help." Devon muttered.
Perry stared at the board, and then moved his knight.
His phone buzzed.
"Dang." He muttered, pulling it out. Kyle eyed Perry's knight.
"Agent P!" Monogram said. "Sorry to bother you, but there's a ruckus going on downtown. Apparently Dr. Diminutive is threatening to paint Downtown Danville proton-pink if no one surrenders to his rule. Normally we'd appoint Agent Silent G to his case, but
"Sorry, Kyle." Perry said, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
Kyle didn't appear to notice as Perry slid out of the room.
As it turned out, Danville's paint store really did sell a color of paint dubbed Proton Pink, and pink wasn't exactly Perry's favorite color. He spent a lot of his afternoon trying to get the pink paint splotches off of his tail and arms.
"Ooh, is that a shade of Proton Pink?" Phineas asked, walking in on Perry in the bathtub.
Perry only glared at him.
"Ferb and I love the scientific selections at Danville's paint store." Phineas said. "We use those colors to paint our inventions. Gene Green, RNA Red, Meiosis Maroon
"Yeah, yeah, Oxygen Orange, I got it."
"Actually, it's Osmosis Orange. I don't know why, though. But I don't care. I love the Danville paint store. Their paints are super-permanent."
Perry gave a grumble of acknowledgement.
"So, why'd you paint yourself Proton Pink?"
"I DIDN'T PAINT MY-" Perry took a breath, trying to calm himself. "I didn't paint myself. I got some on me when I was fighting Dr. Diminutive."
"Oh, that was his name. Ferb kept saying it was Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. I thought it was Hans Doofyberg. Guess we were both wrong."
"I used to fight Doofenshmirtz." Perry said. "Now
I don't know. By the way, don't say Hans Doofyberg in front of him. He might threaten to burn his name into the city again."
"So who's Dr. Diminutive?"
"A really tiny scientist."
"Like, I-could-step-on-him tiny?"
"No, like, a few-inches-taller-than-me tiny."
"Oh, okay." Phineas smiled. "Is he fun to fight?"
"I don't know yet. I've only brawled with him a couple of times."
"But you've fought Doofenshmirtz your whole life. Why'd you switch?"
"Ask Doofenshmirtz." Perry said coldly.
"Silence, agents, silence!"
The skwawking, mewing, barking and mooing didn't stop. The agents were chattering excitedly among themselves.
"Think of the pandas." Peter was telling Darren the duck. "They need donations to save their homes."
Devon the dog was trying to show Pinky a magic trick. "Was this your card?"
"No." Pinky said.
"Oh. I think I took out the wrong one. It was this one, right?"
Perry sighed, grabbed the cards from Devon, and shuffled them. He pulled one out from the middle of the deck.
"That WAS my card!" Pinky said excitedly. "How did you do that?"
"I knew I forgot a step to the trick." Devon said.
"AGENTS!" Monogram shouted.
Thad winced. He had been sitting right next to Monogram.
The agents fell silent.
"Thank you." Monogram cleared his throat. "Now, as some of you may know, the annual L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N bash is in a couple of days. This gives agents a chance to meet other evil scientists assigned to other agents, as well as the other way around."
Thad looked confused. Perry couldn't blame him. It was a strange idea, agents and evil scientists getting together just for a meet-and-greet party.
"Your enemies sent in invitations." Monogram said, gesturing towards Carl. "Anyone with a nemesis may go."
"You going?" Devon asked Perry.
Perry mumbled a reply. Doofenshmirtz probably invited Peter. The thought of it made him furious. He hated parties, but he hated Doofenshmirtz not thinking of him.
Carl handed an invitation to Carrie, who opened it up and inspected it, her eyes narrowed. Carrie only looked so focused when she saw anything with Rodney's name on it.
Carl handed one to Peter next. Peter looked briefly at Perry for a moment. Perry stared coldly at him.
Carl then handed invitations to Devon and Pinky.
"Who invited you?" Devon asked.
"Poofenplotz, of course." Pinky said. "We've been enemies since I joined the agency. You?"
"I'm on Dr. Bloodpudding now." Devon said. "I switched from Professor Roundhead."
Carl searched through the envelopes in his hand, and then passed one to Perry. Perry stared at it in shock.
"Doofenshmirtz?" Devon asked.
it couldn't be
must be someone else." Perry opened it up and stared at it. "Diminutive. I only fought him once."
"Well, since Newton's assigned to someone else now, I suppose it should have been expected." Pinky said.
"Doofenshmirtz hates Diminutive." Devon said. "Or so I remember. Years ago, when I fought Doofenshmirtz, he would rant about Diminutive all the time. I hear they get into fights a lot."
Perry felt a little better hearing this, even a little smug, but he wasn't sure why. "Yeah. Although he feels the same way about Rodney, if not worse."
"Carrie switched him for Rodney." Devon said. "Rodney's been teasing him about it ever since. And you know Rodney's always been a bit hard on Doofenshmirtz."
"I can't believe these guys sometimes." Perry said. "They all are working toward the same goal, like us, but they all hate each other."
"That's evil for you." Pinky said.
The L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N bash was loud and filled with colorful lighting. Perry knew he hated it the moment he stepped into the room.
Evil scientists everywhere were talking, laughing, arguing with their agent counterparts or pouring strange substances into the punch bowl. Dr. Diminutive was sitting at a small table, sipping a soda. He waved Perry over.
Perry sat down across from him and stared at him. Diminutive took another sip before talking.
"So, welcome to the annual
ugh, I can't even say the name. Heinz thought it up, I can't believe it
Lovemuffin, how evil does that sound?"
"Don't get any punch. Dr. Bloodpudding put poison in it. Don't look so nervous, it was already a disgusting color, who would wanna drink it? So
I heard what happened. Heinz, he's a jerk. Doesn't know a good nemesis 'till he loses one."
Perry nodded in agreement. He noticed Doofenshmirtz at another table, drinking coffee with Peter. Doofenshmirtz caught his eye. Perry pretended to be interested in whatever Diminutive was talking about.
"That woman over there?" Diminutive lowered his voice and pointed at a scientist with long, dark hair. "Dr. Sewersludge. She's completely silent about her past life. I swear, not a word. I've tried to ask her. I have no idea what she builds, inators, erators, erizers
she won't say. Professor Poofenplotz is that lady with the short white hair- she may be gorgeous, but she's crazy. I mean it, completely loopy."
Perry watched Doofenshmirtz again. Doofenshmirtz seemed to be glaring at the back of Dr. Diminutive. Perry smiled and tuned back in to the conversation.
Bloodpudding's just weird, I don't get him at all. And Rodney's a complete evil genius. He co-owns
well, our group, you know what it's called, with Heinz. You know him. Not the brightest bulb in the lamp. And then there's me. I may be tiny, but I've got it where it counts. I'll put up a fight when you come to thwart me, Perry."
Perry smiled tauntingly, accepting the challenge.
"I don't get it. Harvey Porter DIES?"
"He didn't die, Perry. He came back to life." Devon said.
"But why'd they do that? I mean, he's the main character in the movie! And they just KILL him? And then bring him back to life because they need him? If they NEEDED him, they shouldn't have killed him!"
"But they had to." Devon said. "If Harvey Porter hadn't died, then Guess Who would still be alive!"
"I don't know, Perry." Pinky sighed.
"I still don't get it. When Harvey got run over by the train as he was porting those bags
"It's a movie, Perry." Pinky said.
"And what about Roger Whistley? If he had just done as Harvey asked and driven the train off of the edge of a cliff
"The conductor needed to save the gumballs, though!" Devon said.
"But the magical dancing bunnies were on top of that!" Pinky said. "And don't you remember the teddy bear on the hangglider? Why would he have needed the gumballs after the legos got thrown out of the train by that purple hippo?"
"That movie was weird." Perry said.
"It was NOT weird." Devon said.
"Come on. If you ever need to use 'gumballs', 'hanggliders' and 'purple hippos' in a plot conversation, the movie is officially weird."
"You're just feeling ripped off because it was twenty bucks to get in." Pinky said.
"Twenty bucks wasted. I could have spent that on better stuff-"
Perry stopped. He noticed Thad Badley by the front of the movie theater, apparently in a heated discussion with Monty Monogram, Monogram's son.
Perry watched as Thad stormed away, leaving Monty looking livid.
"What was that about?" Devon whispered.
Perry shrugged. "Maybe Monty thought the movie was weird and Thad didn't."