“This is so fun.” Phineas said happily. “Isn’t this fun, Ferb?”
Ferb nodded. He was coloring on his kid’s menu.
“What are you drawing?” Phineas asked.
“Perry’s winter booties.”
Perry narrowed his eyes. Linda had realized his booties were no longer on his feet and had insisted on finding them and putting them back on. Luckily, she had decided that he only needed them on his back feet because he had fur on his front paws, so his hands were free.
“Thanks for taking us to get dinner.” Phineas said.
“Welcome. How was your day?”
“Fun!” Phineas said. “We baked cookies and fudge and Ferb made snickerdoodles and I accidentally dropped all of the chocolate chips on the floor and one in Blubbles’s tank and Blubbles ate it. And then we wrapped presents. We got the best present for you, Perry.”
“Gosh… I completely forgot that it’s…”
“ONLY THREE DAYS ‘TILL CHRISTMAS! COME ON DOWN TO PAUL BUNYAN’S PANCAKE HOUSE! Where the food is good! But not too good, ey?”
Perry whirled around. Doofenshmirtz was staring angrily down at his sweater. He sat down in the booth behind them.
Ferb was trying hard not to laugh.
“He’s still wearing that thing.” Perry shook his head. “I wonder if he can get it off.”
“I once got a sweater stuck on me.” Phineas said.
“It wasn’t triangle compatible.” Ferb said.
“So how was YOUR day?” Phineas asked.
“Well, not much today. But a few days ago we watched ‘Fir Trees in France’. It’s a holiday tradition at the agency.”
“I LOVE that movie!” Phineas said. “It’s the one with Vance Ward!”
“And the part with the butt!” Ferb said.
“Yes… well, one of the new recruits decided to point that out. Usually Monogram fast-forwards past the butt part, but he forgot to and one of the new recruits stood up, pointed at the screen and shouted BUTT!”
Phineas and Ferb started laughing.
“Oh, and earlier Harry was putting up baby pictures of all the agents. Ernest looks so unlike himself.”
“I bet your baby picture was the cutest one.” Phineas said.
“I was just sitting there drooling on a blanket. It was the picture Monogram took of me to hang in the O.W.C.A animal shelter to get people interested. Not exactly the most adorable picture in the world.”
“Do you remember being a baby?” Phineas asked.
“I remember coming home for the first time… sorta.” Phineas said. “I kind of remember Candace’s face. It looked all fuzzy. What do you remember from being a baby, Ferb?”
“All of it.” Ferb responded. “Want me to start from the very beginning?”
“NO, thank you.” Perry said before Phineas could answer. “What are you guys going to order?”
“It all began in the darkness of-”
“After dinner, I’ll treat you guys to ice cream. But then I have some last-minute shopping to do.”
“When you come back home, can we watch a movie with you?” Phineas asked.
“Yeah, let’s watch Harvey Porter and the Magician’s Marble.” Ferb said.
“Sure thing. If I’m not worn out from shopping. It’s getting dark.”
“And cold.” Phineas said. “I’m gonna order hot food.”
“I’m getting that.” Phineas said, pointing at a chocolate caramel sundae.
“Well, I’m getting this.” Ferb pointed at a poster of a chocolate milkshake with hot fudge, crushed cookies, whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate shavings.
“And my diet breathed its last…” Perry said. “I’ll have the same thing.”
Phineas told the lady at the counter of the ice cream shop what they were getting. She started getting their orders ready.
“We must be crazy, getting ice cream when it’s so cold out.” Perry said.
“Chilly chilly gumdrops.” Phineas said.
“What?” Perry asked.
“He says that when things are cold.” Ferb said.
The bells above the shop door tinkled. “Hey, Perry!”
Perry turned. “Pinky! Darren! What are you guys doing here?”
“Being as nutty as you are for getting ice cream.” Darren said.
“We’re going to do some shopping after. Join us?” Pinky asked.
“They can come too.” Pinky pointed at the boys.
“Nope. They need to go home. I’m buying them stuff tonight.”
“Did you hear that, Ferb?” Phineas nudged Ferb. “We’re getting stuff for Christmas.”
“Aw, dang. I thought we were getting things for Christmas.”
“Little jokers.” Perry said.
The lady handed Phineas and Ferb their orders. Ferb gave Perry his shake.
“Well, we’ll be going.” Ferb said.
“Goodbye, duck. Goodbye, Isabella’s dog.” Phineas said.
“So many different stores.” Pinky said. “I’m never going to find what I need.”
“What should I get the boys?” Perry asked. “I already got them a new set of tools and a blueprint journal. But I need individual gifts now…”
“Get Phineas a bouncy ball or something easily found on the street.” Pinky said. “I always give Isabella bouncy balls for Hanukah. Of course, she thinks I’m a mindless dog, so that may not work in your situation.”
“Wouldn’t work at all. What are you getting for your owners, Darren?”
“I got Dinah a leaf and baby Elle a slightly smaller leaf. Ducks can’t pull off gifts so well. So today I’m just shopping for the other agents.”
“Books!” Perry pointed at a bookstore and looked in the window.
“We’ll never get him away from that store.” Darren said.
“No worries, I’m looking for Ferb. I don’t see anything he doesn’t have though…”
“OW!” Pinky shouted. “Don’t nudge me so hard, Darren!”
“Perry, why don’t you head on with Pinky? I’ll be right back.” Darren vanished into the bookstore.
“I wish he’d be less obvious.” Perry said. “Now I know I’m getting a book for Christmas.”
Pinky dragged Perry away from the store. “What store should we go to?”
“Maybe a clothing store for Candace?”
They walked toward a store with pink clothes.
“Looks like someone ate too much bubblegum and threw it up all over the store.” Perry commented.
“The store is called ‘Pinkingtons’.” Pinky said.
“Great. I’ll look around for Candace, and you look for Isabella.”
“Thank you for shopping at Jeremy-Mart.” Jeremy said. “A Jeremy will help you with your bags. Have a Jeremy day.”
Jeremy picked up some bags and walked Perry out to his car.
Perry woke up. Phineas was shaking Ferb. “Ferb, it’s Christmas eve!”
“Mom’s making cookies, Ferb! Do you wanna come help?”
Perry stood up, still a little drowsy. “Where’s the fire?” He murmured.
“It’s Christmas eve, Perry!”
“I have to wrap things.” Perry said, slightly annoyed.
“We’ll help you!” Phineas said. “Ferb’s a master wrapper.”
“It’s Christmas, yo!” Ferb said.
“No, Ferb. I meant the other kind of wrapping.”
“Ah, right. That is true. I make presents pretty.”
“Great. I’ll give you guys stuff to wrap, then.”
“Who’s this one for?” Phineas asked.
“Edith the elephant.” Perry said. “But don’t put that it’s from me. It’s a secret Santa gift.”
“How do you spell Edith?” Phineas asked.
“Does this look good?” Ferb held up Darren’s present.
Perry nodded. “Good job.”
“How do you spell Edith?”
“Hand me the tape.” Perry told Ferb.
Ferb passed him the tape.
Perry looked up from taping his package. “Ack, no no. Phineas, no. Edith with an I.”
Phineas crossed out the E and wrote IDETH.
“No… okay, just write To Edie the Elephant.”
Phineas nodded, crumpling up the misspelled tag and beginning a new one.
“Who is this to?” Ferb asked.
“Darren the duck.”
“With an I or an E?”
Perry passed Phineas a book entitled ‘The Wonderful World Of Bamboo’. “That’s for Peter the panda.”
“Peter with an I or an E?”
“What is it with you two and your vowels?”
A Christmas song came blaring out of the radio.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away…”
“How did that person live to sing that song?” Perry asked.
“And why would they give someone their heart?” Phineas added.
“Maybe the other person needed a transplant.” Ferb suggested.
“But they gave the heart away!”
“Maybe they needed some quick cash.”
Perry changed the radio station.
“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…”
“This song makes even less sense. This guy gives his girlfriend random people and animals as Christmas presents. Where does he think she’s going to keep twelve drummers?”
“In her garage?” Phineas suggested.
“Hopefully he gave her the receipts.” Ferb said.
“All I can say is, that guy’s asking for a breakup. I mean, eight maids a-milking? Imagine waking up one morning, going downstairs and seeing these eight random ladies milking cows in your living room. Awkward.”
“You know what would be funny?” Phineas asked. “If we replaced all of the song’s important words with ‘bear’. On the first day of Bear-mas, my true bear gave to me, twelve bears a-drumming, eleven bears piping, ten bears a-leaping, nine bears dancing, eight bears milking, seven bears swimming, six bears a-laying, FIVE GOLDEN BEARS! Four calling bears, three French bears, two turtle bears and a bear in a bear tree!”
“That went a little overbear-d.” Perry said.
“It was overbearing.” Ferb said.
“I’m embearassed.” Phineas said.
“And now,” Said the radio. “The famous singer, Kendrine Adems, will recite the story ‘The Night Before Christmas’.”
“’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse!” Kendrine said.
“That story is so overdone.” Perry said.
They kept wrapping.
“Then, laying his finger aside of his nose…” Kendrine read.
“Then laying his finger inside of his nose.” Ferb said.
Perry and Phineas burst into laughter.
“That’s humor.” Perry said.
Ferb stuck a bow on the last present. “There. Perry’s present to Devon is all wrapped.”
“With an E or an I?” Phineas joked.
“Dlevon. With an L.”
“I don’t get it.” Phineas said.