Perry left the medical wing and started down the hall.
He found Crusher waiting a little ways away from the door he’d left from, bored.
“You’re mom’s in there, by the way.” Perry said.
“By the way…” Perry said. “She didn’t want a baby because she didn’t need you. She wanted one because she did need you.”
“Do bats eat cats? Do cats eat bats?”
“Then make more sense.”
“Prince told me that she wanted a baby. I told her it wasn’t a good time, what with Thad on the loose and you gone and all, and that I couldn’t handle one anyway. She told me that she missed you and she felt like she had really messed up with you. She’s been upset ever since you left her. And she just wanted another chance to be a mother. She didn’t think you’d give her another one.”
“So that was the argument that convinced you?”
“She loves you, Crusher.”
“I know she does.”
“Good. You want to go see her?”
Crusher nodded. She pushed past him and entered the room.
Perry smiled. He left to join the party.
“FRIENDSHIP, FRIENDSHIP, IT’S THE PERFECT BLENDSHIP! WHEN OTHER FRIENDSHIPS HAVE GONE TO TOWN, OURS WILL SOON BE FOUND! A LABA DABA DABA YEAH YEAH YEAH!”
Perry thought he was going crazy when he entered the house until he realized the sound was coming from the television. He entered the living room.
Ferb was sitting on the couch. The television continued to blare out the famous Cole Porter song.
“WHEN OTHER FRIENDSHIPS HAVE BEEN FORGOT, OURS WILL STILL BE HOT!”
“I forgot about this song.” Perry said, hopping up next to Ferb. “Been a while since I heard it.”
The television continued.
“IF YOU EVER LOSE YOUR SHIRT, I’LL BE HURT!”
“Why would she be hurt if he lost his shirt?” Ferb asked.
“Maybe it was a special shirt she bought for him and he lost it.” Perry said.
“Maybe it was a Mr. Morrison shirt.” Ferb said.
“FRURNDSHURP, FRURNSHURP, ERT’S THUR PERFURCT BLURNDSHURP!” Phineas sang as he came to join them.
“Oh no. Please. Not a ‘Wurny the Purr’ version of ‘Friendship’.” Perry said.
“Turby little curby all sturfed with flurf.” Ferb sang.
“We kept your egg super-safe, Perry.” Phineas said, putting a pillow down on the couch. The egg sat on top, covered by a warm cloth. “It kept glowing pink at some points. Do eggs usually glow?”
“Huh. Well, this one did.”
He dozed off to the fortieth chorus of “Friendship”.
“Wake up, Perry!” Phineas shook Perry awake.
“Where’s the fire?” Perry muttered.
“Perry, it’s Thanksgiving! Come on, wake up!”
“No… that’s not for a week now…”
“It’s today.” Ferb said.
Perry opened one eye. “What?”
Ferb showed him a calendar.
Perry’s heart sank. “…But… oh… maybe I lost track of time… so many things happening…”
“Perry, it’s gonna be our first Thanksgiving all together ever! Remember? We found out your secret last Christmas!”
“Right… right… um…” Perry sat up and rubbed his head. “Let me just… take a second to wake up.”
“Mom got you special food for Thanksgiving.” Phineas said.
“Deluxe Platypus Food, made with one-hundred-percent real worms!” Ferb said.
Perry forced a smile. “Great. Great.”
“We made little pilgrim models last night.” Phineas said. “And Ferb made some pilgrims that are really tiny.”
Ferb held out a hand to show Perry.
“There’s nothing there.” Perry said.
“That’s how tiny they are. Careful, don’t breathe them off his hand.” Phineas said.
Phineas headed into the kitchen. Ferb followed.
Perry waited a minute before going after them.
He looked down at the floor. It looked almost black in the dim light of the morning.
“There you are, Perry.” Linda said. She put the food down on the floor.
Perry began to eat.
“Mom, can I help with anything?” Candace asked.
“Would you like to make the pie?” Linda asked.
Linda turned to face the boys, who were eating their breakfast. “Do you want to help with the pie?”
Candace shook her head. “Oh no. No no. They’re going to make a giant pie! Or a pie machine! Or do something crazy and un-pie-related!”
“Ooh, what about a pie truck?” Phineas asked.
“NO!” Candace said.
“Candace. Let them help.” Linda scolded.
Perry liked the new platypus food. But it kind of made his stomach hurt.
He threw up on the floor.
“EEW.” Candace yelled.
“Oh, Perry.” Linda sighed. She went to go get a towel.
Perry almost smiled.
Perry felt bad for ditching the boys after breakfast. But he didn’t really want to engage in conversation with anyone.
All he wanted to do was be alone.
He sat in a leaf pile at the corner of Danville drive, watching the cars pass by. The soft wind blew his fur around a little. He shivered slightly and squirmed down deeper into the warm leaves.
The white picket fence behind him had some rain damage and was falling apart. Someone needed to repaint it.
Perry shook his head. He didn’t want to think about the white picket fence.
He didn’t want to think about anything.
“Perry! Perry, where are you?”
Perry buried his head under the leaves. He heard Phineas and Ferb approach and stop by the leaf pile.
“I thought I saw him in there.” Phineas said. “Maybe it was the trick of the light.”
“He hasn’t seemed very happy today.” Ferb said.
“Let’s cheer him up, then. If we find him, I mean. PERRY!”
The call got fainter. Perry waited until he couldn’t hear Phineas anymore before resurfacing.
Maybe it would be better to go with the boys. They could help him feel better. The leaf pile wasn’t making him happy.
But he didn’t want to be as ignorant as the other people walking the streets, laughing and talking about the holiday.
He stood up, brushing the leaves away from his fur, and slowly headed in the direction the boys had gone.
“I don’t understand. Where is he? This was going to be a fun holiday we could all spend together. Like Halloween.” Phineas said.
Perry had finally managed to catch up to them. “Guys? Hey, I’m here.”
Phineas grinned and hugged him. “Where were you?”
“We were getting worried.” Ferb said.
“We hadn’t seen you for a while after breakfast. We didn’t know where you were.”
“I was in a leaf pile on the corner of Danville drive.” Perry said.
Phineas frowned a little. “Why?”
Perry shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
“You look sad. Why are you sad?”
“We never had you around for Thanksgiving.” Phineas said. “I don’t remember ever seeing you. Why?”
Perry sighed. “Because… because I mourn on Thanksgiving.”
Phineas looked upset. “Who? What happened?”
“My best friend.” Perry felt a lump in his throat. “His name was Terrence. A turkey. The first friend I had at the O.W.C.A. The only one who understood me, and stood up for me, and… we were really similar.”
He had to stop to wipe his eyes. The boys didn’t say anything.
“The… day before Thanksgiving was the last I saw him. We were playing in the leaves at Danville drive. Then I had to go. The next day… I found out…”
He tried to keep the tears back.
“Oh, Perry.” Phineas hugged him. “You could have told us. That’s so terrible… we’re so sorry…”
Perry buried his head in Phineas’s shoulder.
“We don’t have a turkey, by the way.” Ferb said. “We’ve never had one, any year.”
“Good…” Perry sobbed. “Good…”
“I’m glad you decided to come with us, instead of being all alone.” Phineas said. “Do you wanna come back home? Thanksgiving is actually really fun.”
“We have rolls and stuff. And we can make pie. You like pie? Oh, and Ferb had an idea for this machine that makes cornbread out of recycled bottles!”
Perry had to laugh. “Sounds delicious. Okay, cheer me up.”
“Miniature talking PILGRIM hats? Oh, you are SO BUSTED…”
“Yeah, we thought we could use them as pie toppers.” Phineas said, handing the tiny hats to Candace.
“How’s life, Dave?” One of the hats asked.
“Pretty boring. I’m a hat.” The other one said.
“Pie toppers…” Candace brightened. “Good idea. And when we bring the pie out to mom… yes, good idea.” She seemed a lot cheerier. She handed Phineas the electric beaters and a bowl. “You want to mix the pie ingredients? Ferb can add them.”
“Yeah!” Phineas grinned.
Perry sat and waited for the inevitable spilling that would soon occur.
Ferb poured some pumpkin into the bowl, and then a whole can of sweetened condensed milk. Phineas turned on the beaters.
Milk and pumpkin splattered on the walls and floors. Perry began to lick up the mess.
Phineas lost control of the beaters and released them. They tipped over the bowl and began spinning across the floor into the living room, leaving a trail of milky orange.
The bowl landed on the floor, miraculously spilling no more. Phineas picked it up.
“CANDACE!” Linda called. “WHY DID THE ELECTRIC BEATERS JUST WHIRL PAST THE DINING TABLE? DID YOU LET PHINEAS STIR AGAIN?”
“Guess we’ll have to use our hands.” Ferb said, sticking his hands into the bowl and stirring.
“Ew, no, Ferb. Don’t use your hands!” Candace grabbed the bowl away.
Ferb began licking his coated fingers.
“Between THAT and the beater incident, there’s hardly any left for a pie.” Candace grumbled.
“We can make a baby pie!” Phineas said.
Perry had finally cleaned the entire floor. With a sigh of satisfaction, he proceeded to hurl everything he had licked up back onto the tile.
“Oh, gross!” Candace groaned.
“At least it’s all in one spot now.” Phineas said.
“But it’s been through a platypus stomach!”