“I am very full.” Ferb said.
Phineas had to agree.
Perry was asleep on Phineas’s bed, every limb stretched out. Phineas didn’t have the heart to wake him, but he didn’t really have any room to lie down.
“D’ya think we really cheered him up?” Phineas asked Ferb.
“Me too. He seemed really happy after dinner. I don’t think he’ll ever feel sad and lonely on Thanksgiving again.”
They watched Perry. He shifted slightly in his sleep and purred.
“I’m so glad we have Perry.” Phineas said. “He’s the best pet ever.”
Ferb nodded and put an arm around Phineas.
Suddenly a loud crack was audible from the side of the room. Phineas looked at Ferb.
“What was that?”
Another crack sounded. And another.
The boys turned toward the sound. The glowing egg in the corner of the room had a small hole in it, and it was beginning to break open. Mesmerizing pink light seeped through the cracks.
“Woah. It’s hatching!” Phineas whispered. “Should we wake Perry up?”
The egg burst open.
“Thank you for shopping at Jeremy-Mart! Have an excellent day!” Clerk Jeremy said, handing Perry a bag.
“May I help you with your bags?” Bagger Jeremy asked.
Perry turned to the other Jeremy and handed him the bag.
“I’ll walk you to your car.” Said bagger Jeremy.
“That’s fine, I’m not done shopping yet.” Perry said.
“Take your time.” Said Jeremy. “Should we send you a Jeremy employee to help you find things?”
“No, I’m fine.” Perry headed down the nearest aisle.
Jeremy alarm clocks… Jeremy glue… Jeremy deoderant… wasn’t he looking for Jeremy greeting cards?
He nearly collided with Vance Ward, who had been looking at Jeremy shampoo.
“Hello.” Vance Ward said. “Have you seen the Jeremy concert starting at Jeremy square?”
“No. I think it’s down on Aisle Twelve, though.”
“Thanks.” Vance Ward said, leaving.
Perry got onto a magic carpet to get to the next aisle. The carpet flew into a sparkly room with really loud advertisements blaring out of the walls.
And Devon was next to him.
“This is the best Disney ride ever.” Devon said.
“Yep.” Perry said.
They passed by some flowers and landed on Perry’s pet bed.
The magic carpet began to fly back into Jeremy-Mart, but Devon was still on Perry’s pet bed.
“Dev! Hold up, I’ll come around again in a sec!”
Perry jolted awake, completely confused to find himself in the middle of Phineas’s bed. Suddenly it dawned on him that he had been asleep and dreaming.
Jeremy-Mart? What was his brain thinking? Had it synced itself with Candace’s dreams or something?
“Boys?” Perry asked sleepily. The only source of light in the room was a strong pink glow. The boys were sitting on the floor, staring into the light.
“Boys?” Perry called again.
Phineas turned to face him, his eyes wide. “Your baby hatched.”
“It looked cold, so we got it some blankets. All the ones we could carry.”
Perry got out of bed and approached them.
Sitting in the middle of the room were the remnants of eggshell. A pile of blankets and pillows had been placed near them.
And on top of the blankets sat an adorable glowing little baby platypus.
Perry felt himself transfixed. This was surely the most adorable thing in the universe. He wanted to give it absolutely anything it wanted… but he didn’t know where to start… it needed to have everything… it had to be the happiest thing in the world…
“Woah. Woah.” Perry shut his eyes. “Okay. You two. I know it’s hard, but you gotta snap out of it.”
“Huh?” Phineas asked, still staring at the baby.
“This platypus has a cutonium gene. It’s so adorable that it’s easy to become transfixed by its cuteness. But you have to make sure you can get out of the trance. Come on.” Perry opened his eyes.
The baby platypus gave a yawn, and Perry felt the burning need to buy it every single bed in the world. He shook the thought away.
“Come on, boys. Blink.”
Phineas blinked and gave a shudder. “Where am I?”
“That thing is adorable.” Ferb said.
“It really is.” Perry said.
The baby platypus blinked its large eyes at him.
It yawned again.
“We gotta take care of it.” Perry said. “It needs food.”
“Okay, so sweat milk.” Phineas said.
Perry glared at him. “Once again. I am male. I can’t lay eggs, I can’t sweat milk, and I am poisonous.”
“I thought all platypuses could sweat milk.”
“We may still have some milk in the cupboard from when Perry was a baby.” Ferb suggested.
“Good. Go get it.” Perry said. “I think it needs warmth, so I’d better stay here.”
Perry climbed up next to the baby and lay down. The baby crawled under his stomach to get warm.
“Cool, you can just lie down on it.” Phineas said. “Is it comfy?”
“I’m sure IT is. I’M not.”
“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“Candace is going to name her kids Xavier and Amanda.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I had the weirdest dream last night.”
The baby shifted its position, and Perry had to adjust himself to keep from falling off of the blanket pile. “I was in this Jeremy-Mart thing…”
Ferb returned with the milk bottle and poured the milk on Perry.
Perry coughed. “What did you do THAT for?”
“I figured that since platypuses lick milk off of the side of their mom, it wouldn’t want milk in a dish.”
“I’m NOT its mother! And I drank milk in a dish when I was a baby!”
“Oh yeah. I forgot.” Ferb said.
The baby platypus emerged from underneath Perry. It had a drop of milk on its head.
“Awww! Like a little hat!” Phineas said.
Perry gave an annoyed sigh, but he allowed the platypus to lick the milk off of him. Once it had eaten its fill, it crawled back underneath him.
“You missed a spot, you know.” Perry told it. “A LOT of spots.”
Ferb handed him a towel, and he toweled himself off.
“Well, good night, Perry.” Phineas said. “Congrats on your baby.”
“Night.” Perry said, trying to get comfortable.
Perry waited for the phone to dial. The baby had fallen asleep, its front feet digging into his stomach and its back feet pressed up against his leg. It was very hard to breathe.
“Hey.” Prince said.
“The egg hatched.”
“Is the baby okay?”
“It’s fine. It’s busy shoving my intestines up into my lungs.”
“Babies do that. The cutonium? Did it have any effect?”
“Well… let’s just say it’s the most adorable creature in the universe and I keep feeling a strong need to give it the entire world.”
“Boy or girl?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a girl.”
“Then call it a she. What does she look like?”
“Well, pretty normal. Teal fur, my eyes, tiny feet… that sort of thing. Just imagine all of that stuff overly cute. And imagine the tiny feet strong enough to bash my liver into my spinal cord.”
“Sorry, I’ll take over the warmth duties once I’m better. In the meantime, you’re in charge of her.”
“We have to pick a name. I can’t keep calling her ‘platypus’.”
“Give me a minute…”
“Nothing like Crusher. Please.”
“Cute, yet easy to grow into. Has an edge for toughness. Can walk over the world or walk around it.”
“Where’d you come up with that one? ‘Gangster’s Handbook Of Baby Names’? Was it on the page with Serpent and Slave?”
“NO. Sneakers is fine. It’s just kind of a weird name, isn’t it?”
“It’s only as weird as you make it. Look after her. I’ll see you in a week or so.”
Perry heard a click. He tossed his phone onto Phineas’s bed.
“So, your name is Sneakers. Sorry about that. Maybe we’ll be able to find a nickname or something.”
Sneakers poked her head out from underneath him and looked at him with her big eyes.
“Like Nee, or Kers, or Sneaky, or Sneaks… Snee. There aren’t any legit nicknames that don’t have anything to do with shoes.”
Sneakers started chewing on a piece of his fur. She tugged on it a little.
“That’s attached. You have your own fur.”
Sneakers hiccupped. Perry wanted to get her a glass of water.
“You have any twos?”
Phineas, Ferb and Perry had started a game of Go Fish. Sneakers had fallen asleep on Phineas’s lap, glowing slightly from cuteness.
“Your turn, Blubbles.” Phineas said to the goldfish in the bowl on Ferb’s desk.
Blubbles gave off a couple of bubbles, making no move to play any of the cards in front of her tank.
“No, go fish.” Phineas said.
Blubbles did nothing.
“Your turn, Perry.” Phineas said.
Perry’s phone started ringing.
“Aw, turn it off.” Phineas said.
“Could be important.” Perry said. He picked up his phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, Perry. Is Prince with you?”
“What? No, Pinky. She’s at the hospital, remember?”
“Uh… well, Perry, I was just sent from there. One of the nurses came to give her her medicine and she was gone. All of her stuff was gone, too. She was supposed to go home in two days, when we were certain she was stable enough. We thought maybe she was with you.”
“Did you check her apartment?”
“Yes. No one was there.”
“What the heck.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. She’s… she’s just an arrogant idiot. I’ll try to find her.” He hung up. “Sorry, guys. Prince went missing. I have to go. Watch Sneakers.”
“Don’t worry, baby Sneakers.” Phineas said, patting her on the head. “Perry will find your mom.”
“Are you sure you didn’t want to let Phineas name the baby? It could have been Slneakers.” Ferb said.